Due to my readership being sliced in half (goodbye brown.dudevice.com) The management team here at Brotacular Inc. has decided to postpone further posts until further notice. We regret the inconvenience this has caused and ask you to please call out information line for more details. 1-888-BRO-TALK. Thank you for the years of patronage, RIP.
This is the best picture ever taken of me at work. My colleague misunderstood casual Friday and decided to make our relationship more casual by leaning on me for a long time. I opted for jeans instead, I’m the one on the right!!
HEADLINE:
Luke Vigeant AKA ‘El Smilin Gringo’s time was short-lived on the Panamanian Hostage Negotiation team due to his propensity to break into fits of laughter during tense stand-offs. He is now happily employed at IBM.
In one of the more awkward moments of my life, I briefly deserved to be renamed PigPen yesterday - the classic character with zero regard for hygiene, social image, or public presentation.
Seems that after visiting the loo, I walked around for about 20 minutes with a piece of toilet paper attached to the heel of my shoe. I also had my fly undone. Disgraceful.
Well kids, let me tell you a little story…….life’s been good to me.
So does Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Arnold Swartzchneger, and through their peripheral vision, Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Beals. By the miracle of artistic impression, a lovely painting depicting these people points out towards the bathroom throne that I sit on every morning. Its a tribute to the 80s and a fairly good one at that. But back to Costner. He’s in the forefront of the picture with his piercing eyes staring into my soul as I go about my business. Cruise is in there two, but his eyes are somewhat darkened so he looks slightly possessed. Gibson looks drunk, and Arnold is wearing his typical shades (so who knows what he’s looking at). But Costner. COSTNER man! The artist clearly had an affection for him as his eyes are airbrushed with such detail that it feels like he knows everything about you with just one glance. I don’t think he’s judging me, but merely congratulating me, with his all-knowing stare. Sometimes, if its really early, I think i even see him nodding. Thanks Costner. I’m going home to watch “Field of Dreams” right now.
Welcome to:
What’s in Burkie Dog?
- 1 Medium/Large Sized Hotdog
- 1/2 lb of Cheese curds
- Large ladle of Gravy
- Sprinkling of crushed Hickory Sticks
And only $6.95.
Gotta love names of people that seem to be destined for either super stardom or complete and udder ridicule. (These ones are the former)
I can imagine that if these people hadn’t become major big deals in their respective sports that things might have been different. Questions:
1) Does having a strange/wacky name make you better at your sport?
2) Does having a strange/wacky name secure you extra/extended playing time?
3) Does having a strange/wacky name give you a reasonable excuse to act outside the boundaries of social conformity?
Here are my fav names of individuals that may or may not fit into either one of these categories:
1) Stubby Clapp
- Baseball player, revered for his very American name and short stocky appearance. Literal Translation: “Short Stocky American who also plays Baseball”
2) Titi Camera
- Midfielder that played for Liverpool FC. I still remember the English fans trying to grasp this incredibly strange collaboration of first and last names. Sadly Titi didn’t last long. If your first name isn’t Terry, Nigel, or Harry chances are you won’t get a chant named after you in England. Literal Translation of Name: “Man with strange name”
3) Pops Mensa-Bonsu
- Power Forward, Toronto Raptors. This guy has the most incredible name so far. Firstly cause his name is POPS, and secondly the next part is MENSA - which basically means he is incredibly smart. BONSU I can only assume means “warrior” and/or “dragon slayer” in another language, other than my own. So literal translation of this name would be: “Fatherly Genius Who Slays Pre-historic Mammals”
Suddenly, “James Brown” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it…
Well folks, just to keep my readership happy (Paul, Zoe) I’m giving you a friday update. It has come to my attention that there is a ridiculous amount of talk in the office about a certain movie directed by George Lucas, and here we have a small chart that details the number of times i hear this film mentioned on any given weekday.
Monday and friday ranked highest, due to the high rate of discussion on these days - be it the end of the week (anticipation is high, and therefore number is higher) or the beginning of it (reflective period, usually nostalgic).
What would happen if Paul Brown actually met Paul Brown? Would the universe implode? Would world peace prevail? Would it look something like this?
I just picked up a bill from FED EX for the office. Came in at a cool $12,338.05. Ah the joys of working for a large production company. IE: seeing large sums spent on everyday things.
Funk attack from south of the border. Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears!
I was surprised and disheartened, (and maybe a little disturbed) to learn that GATORADE - the sports drink which is loved and beholded by all, is in fact considered contraband at the office. It is on a list of unacceptable office drinks/items that cannot be brought into the kitchen on the grounds that is doesn’t meet the strict standards of office healthy food guidelines. Really?? What about all the science in GATORADE? I’d say that in an average glass there must be atleast 70% science. That’s something I would bank on. Why can’t the office?
